breakdown

I can't fathom how the governor could possibly need this much help.

Example: I have to print out a calendar for him and keep it updated. I do it with this program called Now & Up-To-Date; every day I print him out that day's schedule and tape it to his desk, then update the week calendar he has--one page with the entire month on it, stapled to one weeks' worth of day schedules with everything I know about written into them. This is a huge waste because things change so quickly around here, and far be it from anybody to just use a pen and write in new events. Nope, everything has to be re-printed. And the best part is, he never looks at it! He freaks out if he doesn't have it, which is usually because he took it out of his bag and left it on his desk or something. He schedules himself appointments during other appointments, which, if he looked at his damn calendar, are clearly scheduled. And then he doesn't tell me he's done this. It is a common occurrance around here to have to re-schedule appointments he's made on his own, during appointments I've already scheduled and told him about, and having to apologize for my mistakes.

He's also one of the most forgetful perfectionists I've ever met or even heard of. All last week, he kept having me write letters to people, accusing them of not sending things that they said they'd send him...the thing is, they were all things he already has, that have been in his in-box for at least a week. He somehow remembers that Linda from the driving school owes him an evaluation, and he decides to write her a letter on Wednesday accusing her of never sending his evaluation. Intersting points:

(1) He already wrote her a letter accusing her of this
(2) He also made me call her
(3) During this phone call, I found out that she'd already sent his evaluation to his home address--the one he lived in three years ago. Whose fault is that?
(4) She told me if I didn't recieve the one she was sending here, to his office, by this past Friday, to call her and she'd personally deliver the evaluation
(5) The evaluation came in on Tuesday--stamped and placed in his in-box, right on top because it seemed most important.
(6) "I'm doing what she said--if I didn't get her evaluation, I should write to her and tell her!" (note: this was Wednesday.)

One of the letters I had to write on Thursday was actually apologizing for my screwing things up! Someone invited him to something about a month ago. I put the invitation on his desk, and he returned it to me with a post-it note on it saying "find out their last name." I found it out and told him, asked him if he wanted to go and he said no, that his wife had a prior engagement and to please call and leave his regrets. There was a note on said invitation saying their last name, that I called with regrets, and the reason for them. And yet, on Thursday morning, I found myself writing a letter that was dictated to me explaining that he had to figure out all on his own who these people were and he realizes now that his new secretary didn't know what she was doing and, as such, never managed to RSVP to the invitation.

Or, he left a card on my desk that he got on July 3rd. I remember opening it, I remember stamping it, I remember putting it on his desk. I've been moving it around on his desk for a month; every time I clean it (probably three times a week, to no avail) I move this letter to the top of a pile and every time it gets lost in the shuffle all over again. Friday morning, he put it on my desk with a note that says "did we ever get her last name?"

Well, no.

Because he never asked me what it was.

I swear I could save about 7 acres of rain forest trees per day if I just stopped doing everything the governor asks.