interlude

all right. i've been silent long enough.

it's time you people met my friend sean.

by "you people" i mean any eligible girls. seriously, friends, i don't get what your deal is.

sean: bro what happened to me
sean: i can't get a girl, with diamonds on the floor and a net hanging over it
me: hahahaha
sean: my roommates are pullin hunnies
sean: and i am, umm, talking about my laptop

interesting gender confusion aside (bro?), we find ourselves at case and point 1: he's funny! AND computer savvy. what more could a woman want? i mean, really?

sean: the thing is, girls i know say, "sean, you're my favorite because you're the most fun. I have friends coming up and i want to hook you up."

case and point 2: the fun one! who doesn't love the fun one? ps, i have an in with this particular apartment (as i have BEEN in this particular apartment) and i can categorically say it is one of the funnest apartments ever. and, incidentally, maybe the cleanest. due to a lot of aaroning* (by all three roommates).

sean: i am not a great first impression guy
sean: i don't know if it is my height or what. but a girl needs to meet me like 3 times to start feeling me
me: yeah?
sean: yeah because on first meeting 50% of girls think i am cute, 70% think i am nice, 45% think i am fun, 30% think i am funny and 80% think i am weird
sean: but that all balances out when they start to understand my humor
sean: then that changes
me: yeah, i guess that's true
sean: the cute goes up, but only slightly... I tend to be nice and smile a lot in front of new people so that number can only drop as they meet me more. the fun usually goes up unless they catch me when i am sick. the funny is the thing that usually sky rockets... i would say from 30% to about 67% with in the first 3 meetings. The weird never drops unless someone really gets to know me.
sean: so i would say that it will never get under 65% but i like it that way
sean: because i can keep people at the distance i want them
me: yeah
sean: i don't know if you can handle all that math before 10am
sean: but if you want me to repeat it later just let me know

case and point 3: funny! and self-aware. and sort of a math whiz (?). and ps, don't worry, he's got a reverse-napolean-complex where he thinks he is (a) shorter than he is (not very; my height exactly and i'm supposedly tall), and (b) worse looking than he is (i'd venture to say "wicked cute" when describing him). so, there's that.

so ladies, get on this! i'm not one to pimp friends out (ever, really; particularly not on my blog), but this seemed like as valid a venue as anything else...

and sean, you can just pay me back in falafel next time you're in RI. or, y'know, i take cash.



*aaron (aah-ron)
v. aaroned, aaron·ing, aarons

1. To clean excessively/impulsively/compulsively: "i aaroned the crap out of my apartment the other day"; "i'm aaroning my apartment this weekend for sure."
2. To don a sweater vest: then he aaroned his outfit a little, and was good to go.
3. To spend (a period of time) by or as if by aaroning: aaroned the evening away.